[whiz-games] PerrySimm says, "Log on."

Whizzard asks, "Ok, we're shy one player. Where's Joe?"

GuntherStein says, "I am here to BLOW (clap) YOU UP."

Bjorg has arrived.

InnocentBystander has arrived.

josh_g disappears through an invisible gap in the MUD. You think you may have heard the sounds of chatting before the gap closed again.

MixBlasterK says, "yarr"

InnocentBystander says, "Hi. I'm not even here."

InnocentBystander says, "also, it's not my fault."

MixBlasterK says, "I mean, booyeah"

[whiz-games] Darkstar says, "Paging Mr. Mason..."

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK has joined the channel.

Whizzard says, "Ok, we'll start the briefing without him. Joe will have to catch up."

Zero exclaims, "Okay okay!"

Whizzard says, "Some of you are pretty new to the Xcrawl League. 'Fresh meat', as we like to say around here."

[Crows-Nest] schep asks, "Do we get to be the studio audience?"

Whizzard says, "So I'll explain the basics to you, so we're not totally throwing you to the sharks."

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says, "one more dumb question that I can't find the answer to"

[Crows-Nest] Whizzard says, "Sure."

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK asks, "how many feats would I have?"

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says, "musicianship and starting weapons stuff aside"

[whiz-games] GuntherStein asks, "Human?"

[whiz-games] Darkstar says, "(Could you guys set your MUDnames in your plan, or rname, or wherever?)"

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says, "half elf"

[whiz-games] Zero says, "@set me"

[whiz-games] Zero says, "sorry"

[whiz-games] GuntherStein says, "Two."

Whizzard says, "You are in Division Four of the XCrawl North American League, reserved for players ranked between 4th and 6th level."

Whizzard says, "Your levels have been assigned based on your past performance in the minor leagues, but now things get serious. Here, if you die, you die."

[Crows-Nest] GuntherStein says (to Whizzard), "Character sheet mailed to you."

[whiz-games] InnocentBystander has joined the channel.

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says, "any recommendations? I'm thinking Dodge and Combat Casting"

Whizzard says, "TwinCrawl XXXV is a nationally televised event. As such, you are expected to behave in a professional, responsible manner. No mooning the DJ."

Darkstar guffaws.

Whizzard looks at Darkstar and narrows his eyes.

[whiz-games] GuntherStein says, "You might want Point Blank Shot if you're an archer type."

[whiz-games] LoneCleric looks around, notices the weird names, and decides it might be simpler to mute this channel for a while.

Darkstar exclaims, "I thought this was *cable*, man. You can do anything you want on cable!"

[whiz-games] jnc asks, "Oh, is it that time already?"

Whizzard says, "Now, we have breakrooms here in the major leagues. They appear to be a normal dungeon room, but inside each is a fully trained paramedic and resting facilities. Your DJ will make the breakrooms as comfortable as possible. After all, the dungeon levels are timed."

Whizzard says, "More than one team has lost a match by hanging around too long in a breakroom, so keep that in mind."

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says (to Gunther), "hmm, good idea"

Whizzard asks, "Now, do you all have your clips with you?"

[whiz-games] jnc says, "Hmm, anyone remember what my old soldier was named in Jota's SF campaign? I gotta find my RPG char."

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says, "heh"

Whizzard asks, "?"

[whiz-games] Darkstar says, "Scruffy McOldguy... uh...Gregory, I mean."

GuntherStein regards the DJ dully.

[whiz-games] InnocentBystander says, "I'm glad I muted this, or there'd be mass confusion"

MixBlasterK asks, "probably, what's it look like?"

Darkstar holds up a shiny plastic disc. "Yo."

Whizzard says, "Sigh. Your video clip introductions."

MixBlasterK says, "oh, THAT clip"

MixBlasterK says, "of course"

Whizzard says, "You were supposed to email them to the Producer beforehand and bring a disk copy."

GuntherStein says, "Oh, ohhh, yaaa. Yaaa hmm oh, here it is, DJ Man."

Zero coughs.

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says, "man, am I behind on prep for this"

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK asks, "whoops, did I say that out loud?"

[whiz-games] jnc says, "Oops. Apparently that's not who I last logged in as."

Whizzard says, "Ok, make sure you've emailed the producer your clip by the time the show starts."

[whiz-games] Darkstar asks (of JNC), "Melack?"

[whiz-games] schep says, "no, that was me"

[whiz-games] jnc says, "No, that's schep's."

[whiz-games] Darkstar asks, "Ashen?"

Whizzard says, "After all, you can't tell the players without a pregame show. Heh heh. *cough* Ahem."

[whiz-games] jnc says, "Aha!"

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK asks, "I vaguely remember something in the mini XCrawl rules that we have access to +1 weapons and armor?"

[whiz-games] Darkstar says, "If you pay for them."

[whiz-games] Ashen says, "Yeah, you get some starting cash. Probably about enough for a few weapons"

Whizzard says, "Now, you're familiar with the banned equipment rules, I trust? No power tools, hand tools other than thieves tools and multi-purpose knives, siege equipment, incendiary devices, floor hazards (such as caltrops), poison or tranquilizers of any kind, firearms or propulsion weapons other than bows and crossbows, and electronic devices other than watches and flashlights."

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says, "ok, I'm not seeing price lists, so I'm going to guess that a light crossbow +1 and a short sword +1 are cheap"

Whizzard says, "If you've brought any of those with you today, please deposit them in the bin by the door."

[Crows-Nest] GuntherStein reluctantly leaves his trebuchet at home.

[whiz-games] GuntherStein says, "+1 weapon is +2000gp"

Darkstar asks, "What, I can't bring my pager?"

Zero throws a couple of bags into the bin.

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK asks, "which would be our starting gp?"

Whizzard says (to darkstar), "No."

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says, "I'll just stick to cheapo then"

[whiz-games] GuntherStein says, "We apparently start at 4000gp"

Darkstar sullenly tosses it in the bin. "It better be there when I get back out."

[whiz-games] Zero says, "okay, now that rule: annoying"

Zero tosses four vials and a small box into the bin.

MixBlasterK says, "I hope my portable turntables are allowed"

[whiz-games] jnc says, "Er, can't be +2000: I have two +1 swords and a +1 armour."

MixBlasterK says, "they're my piece dee resistance"

[whiz-games] jnc says, "So either we get more money or they cost less."

[whiz-games] Darkstar asks, "Is 4000 the level 1 cash or the level 4 cash?"

Whizzard says, "Now, disqualifications. Certain actions-attacking non-combatants, excessive brutality or mutilation of enemies, ignoring officials or other inappropriate behavior in front of the camera, can provoke a disqualification, or DQ. You'll get a verbal warning, but if you keep it up, you're outta there. Your team will just have to do without you."

[whiz-games] Darkstar says (to Sakai), "You might want to join us, to the south."

Sakai has arrived.

[whiz-games] Sakai says, "Thank you."

[whiz-games] Zero says (to Darkstar), "the level 4"

Whizzard says, "Additionally, some items and doors are marked NoGo. If you tamper with these items or pass through these doors, you will receive a DQ. The NoGo doors are there for your safety, if you think you're gonna die. However, cowards don't often receive return invites to future events."

Whizzard says, "Finally, the monsters are allowed to surrender to you, and you must accept their surrender."

Sakai says, "(Anyone logging this? Can you mail me a recap?)"

Whizzard says, "In such a case, a referee will be dispatched to escort them out of the dungeon. Until that referee arrives, however, your captive may break its surrender and try to pull a fast one. You are not required to accept a second surrender."

Whizzard asks, "The team that finishes the dungeon in the shortest time today will be declared the victors. Any questions?"

[whiz-games] Darkstar says (to Sakai), "Just mailed you. Delete the first message."

Whizzard says, "No? Ok, I'll need your team name for the roster."

Zero says, "Nope, nope."

[whiz-games] Zero asks, "Team name?"

MixBlasterK says, "MixBlaster K, bard of the phat beats"

Darkstar sneers. "How about 'Sarkstar's Minions'?"

MixBlasterK says, "oh, team name"

[whiz-games] Darkstar says, "(Er, Darkstar's -- typo)"

MixBlasterK says, "whoops"

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "Yeah, what your team is called."

[whiz-games] Sakai says, "Oh, I was gonna ask about that. I thought we'd be meeting for the first time in-game."

MixBlasterK asks, "Snarkstars?"

[whiz-games] Sakai says, "(Are we IC now?)"

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "Yeah."

[whiz-games] Darkstar says (to Sakai), "We're... in-game, pre-crawl."

[whiz-games] Darkstar says, "Getting a briefing from the XCrawl officials."

[whiz-games] Zero asks, "The Unpreparedz?"

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says, "hee"

Darkstar says (to Mix), "*Dark*star -- that's me, Lord Darkstar."

Whizzard sighs, "Oh Zeus. Here we go again."

[whiz-games] Sakai asks (of Darkstar), "Never got that mail. Where'd you send it?"

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says, "almost done character (yes, I suck), on spells"

[whiz-games] Darkstar says, "joe@notcharles.ca"

[whiz-games] Zero says (to Mix), "I'm just glad someone is running later than I was"

[whiz-games] Sakai says, "Mmf."

GuntherStein says, "I like the Stone Cold Killahs."

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK asks, "how many bonus spells do I get, with a cha bonus of +2?"

[whiz-games] GuntherStein says, "Clip emailed (also w/ memorized spells)"

[whiz-games] GuntherStein says, "1 at first level and I think 1 more at second level."

[whiz-games] GuntherStein says, "Yeah."

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says, "ok, so no 3rd level spells then"

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says, "er, never mind"

[whiz-games] Eolo says, "you don't get 3rd level spells as a level 4 whatever"

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says, "I was thinking '3rd column' which is 2nd level spells"

Darkstar asks, "How about Team Nightfire?"

[whiz-games] GuntherStein asks, "Are y'all happy with 'Stone Cold Killahs'?"

Zero says, "I can't believe we still can't decide on this."

MixBlasterK says, "I'm with Gunther Stein"

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "Some quick rules things...."

[whiz-games] Darkstar says (to Stein), "I didn't hear any complains about 'Darkstar's Minions'..."

[Crows-Nest] GuntherStein says (to MixBlaster), "Yor my new freind"

Sakai says, "Works for me."

GuntherStein says, "Das ist guut, ya."

Zero says, "Whatever."

[whiz-games] Zero says (to Darkstar), "All of us just imagined kicking you."

Darkstar shrugs, "What Holy said."

[whiz-games] Sakai says, "Yay. Got the briefing. Brief pause while I catch up."

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "You can use the Heal skill to make a first aid check (DC 18) which heals a character a number of hps equal to their level. Only once per injury, and not after being magically healed."

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "The only other rule is Mojo."

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "You guys have a Mojo pool of 10 points tonight. You may give these points to other players, but they may not ask for them."

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "They serve as bonuses to any die roll except saving throws."

[whiz-games] Darkstar asks, "Can anyone give anyone a point, or do you vote, or what?"

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "Anyone can give anyone a point."

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "I should warn you all that your actions can also affect the mojo pool."

[whiz-games] Darkstar asks, "Can you give people points after they roll, or only before?"

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "Actions promoting teamwork increase it. Party infighting decreases it."

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "Only before."

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "Also, I don't count snarky comments as 'infighting'."

[whiz-games] Darkstar says, "Yay."

[whiz-games] Zero says, "(character sheet/clip e-mailed)"

[whiz-games] GuntherStein asks (of Whizzard), "You ARE still at gkw@pobox.com, yes?"

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "Just an actual player vs. player brawl/argument."

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "Yep."

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "Ok. One moment as I go through the clips."

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "Oops. I made a mistake. The party can bring up to 5 vials of alchemical fire into the dungeon."

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "But that's total, not per."

Zero gets four vials back out of the bin.

[whiz-games] GuntherStein says, "Whew."

[whiz-games] Darkstar says (to Zero), "Hee."

[whiz-games] GuntherStein asks, "Is just plain oil (or gasoline, or whatever) okay?"

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "Nope."

[whiz-games] Zero asks, "Okay, so I've got four... anyone else bring any?"

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "It needs to be a controllable fire, basically."

[whiz-games] Darkstar asks (of Stein), "Scotch?"

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "But your fire spitting is okay, I think."

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "It's a signature move and all."

[whiz-games] jnc asks, "Torches?"

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "Good for ratings."

[whiz-games] Zero says (to jnc), "Flashlights."

[whiz-games] GuntherStein says, "Thanks. (My signature move uses flasks of oil, is the reason.) Sorry to, erm, rain on your parade, Zero."

[whiz-games] Zero says, "Not rain'd at all."

[whiz-games] jnc asks, "So burning-wood torches are illegal?"

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "Zero can have the vials too. No big."

GuntherStein flexs his muscles idly. If he wasn't wearing plate, it might be impressive.

[whiz-games] GuntherStein says, "Gracias."

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "Yeah. Messes with the camera shots."

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "Flashlights are the same cost though."

GuntherStein casually inspects the other team members for muscle mass.

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "Hmm. I see most folks have ignored my 150 word limit on clips...."

[whiz-games] GuntherStein says, "D'oh. Sorry."

[whiz-games] Sakai says, "I though it was 250"

[whiz-games] Darkstar says, "Erk. I forgot there was one."

Sakai puts down his backpack, digs through, and throws a bundle into the bin. He also finds his clip disc in there, and looks

Zero tries to hide behind something.

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "Was it 250? Ok."

Sakai looks surprised. "Thought I gave this in already."

[whiz-games] Whizzard asks, "Anyhow, anyone here gonna be upset when these clips come scrolling across their screen?"

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says, "mine's probably more too"

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "I think the record is 500 words here."

[whiz-games] schep says, "erk"

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "Hell. Let's do these by email."

[whiz-games] schep says, "but go ahead"

[whiz-games] Zero says, "Okay by me."

[whiz-games] Sakai says, "I had that, but I cut mine down. :-)"

Darkstar gives Stein a 'what are you looking at?' look.

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says, "er, crapo, mailreader.com is down"

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says, "I'm about to email you my stuff but I'll have to ftp then send"

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says, "or something"

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "Hmm. Ok. Here's the deal...."

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "Each of you will be responsible for posting your clip when I give you the word."

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "The email thing is just gonna be too big a hassle."

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says, "ok"

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "And I don't have time to edit them so they'll post ok."

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says, "I'll email you the character sheet anyway"

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "Yeah"

[whiz-games] Sakai asks, "Post where? Web, bb?"

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK asks (of Whiz), "what's your address?"

InnocentBystander has disconnected.

InnocentBystander goes home.

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "gkw@pobox.com"

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "Just emit it or say it."

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "When I give you the word, that is."

[whiz-games] Sakai says, "Oh, *paste*. Gotcha."

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "Ok, got everyone's characters."

[whiz-games] Whizzard asks, "Are we all set? Got your sodas, etc?"

[whiz-games] Darkstar says, "Yo."

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says, "yo"

[whiz-games] Zero says, "Yup."

[whiz-games] GuntherStein says, "Arr"

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK has some mad beats in his ears to keep himself feeling in character.

[whiz-games] Sakai says, "Arr."

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "PS - Sakai, I believe you had your +1 swords as a class ability."

Whizzard says, "Ok. If you'll all follow me to the greenroom then."

[whiz-games] Sakai says, "Still had to pay for them. Possibly they cost a little less, though."

(From Whizzard) This is a typical studio greenroom-comfortable and simple, with concrete walls, fluorescent lighting and vending machines. Benches and folding chairs fill the room, and every chair faces the huge arcane video screen on the north wall. There is a craft services table with bagels and cream cheese, miniature chocolates, coffee, juice, and soft drinks. A referee is here, wearing the traditional black and white striped uniform. He wears a shoulder holster with a heavy pistol. The door to the east is marked NoGo.

Sakai heads for the coffee.

Zero grabs a pop and sits on a chair.

Darkstar says, "Nice screen. Almost as big as the one in the den back home."

Whizzard says, "(As referee) Good morning, players. I'm Abner Hershfeld, the head referee for today's event."

Whizzard asks, "I trust my assistant filled you in on the basics?"

Zero nods.

Darkstar says, "No mooning, no guns."

GuntherStein nods.

Whizzard says (to darkstar), "Hmm. Yes, more or less."

MixBlasterK grabs fistfuls of chocolate and consumes them.

Sakai says, "Yeah, we're good. It's not like we haven't done this before."

MixBlasterK says, "yo, the lackey told us the deal"

[whiz-games] Zero says (to Sakai), "except, of course, it is"

Whizzard says, "All right, just checking. I run a tight ship, here."

Whizzard says, "Once a call has been made, there's no appeal at the time. Just take your equipment and go."

Whizzard says, "Appeals can be made later, to the appeals committee."

Whizzard says, "If you attack one of my refs, they are authorized to shoot you in self defense. So don't."

Whizzard says, "Even you, Lord Darkstar."

MixBlasterK asks, "who would be lame enough to do that?"

MixBlasterK says, "the refs give us the game, the game gives us the hype"

MixBlasterK says, "and the hype gives us the love"

Darkstar puts up his hands, in a gesture of angelic innocence, and an expression of 'who, *me*?'

Sakai asks, "Can we shoot him too if he never shuts up?"

Whizzard says, "That's entirely between you and your gods, I'm sure."

MixBlasterK snickers

Whizzard says, "All right, the camera crew will be by in a few minutes to check your mikes and so forth. Please be cooperative with them. We're all here to put on a good show."

Sakai puts his coffee cup down and picks fretfully at his helm.

Zero stretches.

Whizzard says, "And in case no one else remembers to say it, good luck. DJ Greenskin is a tough customer, and she's crossed the line more than once. Be on your guard."

MixBlasterK puts his headphones on one ear, pulls a record out from his backpack and loads it up on the lightweight turntables hanging down from his neck, and chills.

Zero says, "Hey, thanks."

Sakai asks (of StoneColds), "So, uh - anybody given any thought to strategy?"

(From Whizzard) Abner leaves.

MixBlasterK says, "well I'm decent with a sword, but I'm better from a distance"

GuntherStein says, "Hit them until they stop moving or surrender."

Darkstar pulls out his sword, shows it to Sakai. "Yeah. You poke monsters with this thing. Then you take their stuff. Repeat."

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "Oh, one more thing..."

MixBlasterK says, "and I'm best at putting on a show"

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "You don't loot bodies in XCrawl. You're awarded prizes for clearing rooms."

Darkstar asks, "You want, I can go in front. I got a good eye, y'know?"

Sakai asks (of Darkstar), "Well, you look like you're the tank. Do we have any spellcasters?"

MixBlasterK says, "I can throw a bit of the magic around"

Darkstar winks his left eye (which is magnified several times in the oversized left lens of his goggles).

Sakai says, "Spellcaster support's my usual role - keeping the baddies busy to give 'em time to fry em."

[whiz-games] Zero says, "..."

Sakai asks, "What are you other two?"

MixBlasterK says, "hmm, I'm more of a performer than a blaster. I guess that's irony"

Zero says, "Mostly healing and protection, as far as magic from me goes..."

[whiz-games] Darkstar says, "Hmm. Anyone who wants to @desc themselves so we know what you look like, feel free :)"

GuntherStein says, "I am a humble servant of MARS, long may his sword draw blood."

MixBlasterK says (to Zero), "hey, that's ace. I like the whole staying alive thing, y'know"

[whiz-games] GuntherStein says, "The clip show will presumably answer a lot of this."

Darkstar puts a couple cans of cold stuff into his pockets, for later.

MixBlasterK says (to Dark), "hey, good idea"

MixBlasterK stuffs his big hoodie pocket full of snacks.

[whiz-games] Sakai says (to josh_g), "I'm picturing Ali G (British comedian) saying all your lines, and it's pretty funny."

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says, "as long as it's funny, I say hooray"

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "Yeah. Descriptions aren't a bad idea though. And this 'pre-show show' is an opportunity to get used to your characters and such."

MixBlasterK asks, "oh man, this bassline is superb. you guys want me to put this on the speakers?"

Darkstar says, "Yeah, sure. Go for it."

[whiz-games] GuntherStein is a huge hulking guy, dressed in plate. He wields a big ass axe.

Sakai says, "So, light on the artillery. That could work. I'm kind of surprised, though - I thought the crowds liked big explosions more than close-up roughwork over here."

[whiz-games] GuntherStein is also wearing the holy symbol of Mars around his neck. He has a number of bulging belt pouches.

[whiz-games] Darkstar says, "(X DARKSTAR for his description)"

MixBlasterK is an average-sized white guy, from what you can tell under his oversized clothes. He sports an unusual set of portable turntables, a backpack of vinyls, and his short sword and crossbow held ready on his backpack.

MixBlasterK says (to Sakai), "I can make some shineys, but my big boom is a Sound Burst"

GuntherStein says, "I've been known for the occasional... firework."

MixBlasterK says, "you'd be surprised how much that can get a crowd on its feet, if you lay it down just right at the end of a huge beat transition"

(From Whizzard) Two gnomish cameramen enter the room.

Sakai asks (of Mix), "Oh, great. Did you bring earplugs for the rest of us?"

Darkstar nods to the cameradudes.

MixBlasterK says (to Sakai), "um ..."

Darkstar says (to MixB), "Don't let him get to ya, man."

Whizzard says, "(as larger gnome) 'allo. Aye yam Rupert, ahnd thees ees Monty. (Monty nods) Pleez ahlohw uz to eenzpect yohr mi-cro-phonez."

Darkstar asks, "I think somebody just stuck a sword up his, know what I mean?"

Zero | A tall lanky human. A rough face, which would be called 'chiseled' if he were more attractive than he is. Straight brown hair; dark blue eyes. Zero is wearing a chain-mail shirt over black padding with a leather duster over that, and a pair of flared jeans, also black. A leather belt around his waist holds a few spray-top canisters. He wears a black backpack with the some cartoon faces on it: a penguin, two pandas.

[whiz-games] Zero says, "Or something like that. Nothing like noticing mistakes afterwards."

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says, "heh"

[whiz-games] Zero says, "Meant to type 'seals', typed 'pandas'. Whatever."

GuntherStein says (to gnomes), "Go ahead."

[whiz-games] Sakai says, "Just updated my description."

Zero says, "Sure thing, guys."

MixBlasterK says, "Monty, Rupe-man, check my sound stuff, sure"

[whiz-games] Sakai asks (of Zero), "also 'the some cartoon faces' - is that an extra 'the', or did you mean 'the same'?"

(From Whizzard) Rupert comes up to each of you, inspecting the mikes you're wearing and whispering 'Un, deu' into each a few times.

[whiz-games] Zero says, "I meant 'a few' :)"

GuntherStein says, "Check check CHECK check check"

Darkstar says (to Rupert), "Twa, Cat."

MixBlasterK says, "sibilance"

[whiz-games] Zero says, "or at least that's what it says now"

Whizzard says, "Hokay. Mikez iz good. Now pleaze quay-et for un moment for ze zound check."

(From Whizzard) Monty listens intently to his headphones, then gives a thumbs up.

Whizzard exclaims, "Hokay! All good!"

GuntherStein says, "HI MOM"

Zero exclaims, "Good. Thanks!"

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says, "desc set"

Sakai gulps down the rest of his coffee and cracks his neck.

[whiz-games] Zero says, "the image of MixBlasterK as sort of a male version of Noodle has me wanting to go get the Gorillaz CD."

MixBlasterK asks (of Monty), "you want me to hook a line from the 'tables to your transmitter, so you don't have feedback headaches?"

Whizzard says, "Dere eez reporterz een de ztudeeo today for eentairviewz. Zee you on ze zhow."

MixBlasterK says, "oooh yeah, the press"

[whiz-games] Sakai says, "Oh, hey, what are our theme songs? I'd like to grab a copy of each before we start..."

Darkstar says, "Rock on."

(From Whizzard) Monty nods to MixBlasterK.

(From Whizzard) They fiddle with that for a few.

[whiz-games] Darkstar says, "'Into the Pit', Linkin Park."

[whiz-games] Sakai says, "Hey, appropriate title."

[whiz-games] Darkstar says, "Which you probably can't geta copy of, since it was written specifically to be my theme."

[whiz-games] Sakai says, "Mine's Bodies (Vienna Remix, from XXX) by Drowning Pool."

[whiz-games] GuntherStein says (to Sakai), "Sorta a heavy-metal version of Ride of the Valkyries."

[whiz-games] Sakai says (to Darkstar), "Bah. Rich boy."

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says, "grab something from Squarepusher and it'll probably be appropriate"

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says, "or the new Aphex Twin"

[whiz-games] Sakai asks, "Not Gorillaz?"

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says, "that'll work"

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says, "heh,I'm not picky"

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says, "I just don't own any Gorillaz"

GuntherStein says, "Maybe we should see zee eentairviewerz."

MixBlasterK asks, "oh, you mean they're not coming to US?"

MixBlasterK says, "how rude"

(From Whizzard) An attractive female elf and her camera crew enter the room. "Hello? Are you the..<reads a card> Stone Cold Killahs?"

GuntherStein says, "Yaa that is us."

Darkstar grins a million-gp smile at her. "That's us, ma'am."

MixBlasterK says, "Yeah, baby"

Zero nods. "Yup."

Sakai says, "No."

Sakai says, "Just kidding. Yes."

MixBlasterK smoothly puts on something with a deep, seductive bassline and fades in the external audio.

Whizzard says, "(as elf) Thank goodness. This place is a maze. I'm Lacey Silverstring."

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says, "hee hee"

[Crows-Nest] Sakai says, "Insert exotic dancer joke here."

Whizzard says, "(to her camera crew) Hurry up and get set up. We've got three more teams to interview before the show."

[Crows-Nest] MixBlasterK asks (of Lacey), "is that your name, or your lingerie brand?"

[whiz-games] GuntherStein says, "You are in a twisty little maze of greenrooms, all alike."

[Crows-Nest] Sakai says, "Hmm, this Gorillaz is all way too mellow. Guess I'll get some Squarepusher."

MixBlasterK asks (of Lacey), "we all know you look good for the camera, but how are we?"

[Crows-Nest] Sakai asks (of Zero), "No theme for you?"

Whizzard asks, "<rolls her eyes at MBK> Ok, who's who, here?"

Zero waves with two fingers. "Zero, here."

Sakai puts his helm on and attaches the visor.

GuntherStein says, "I am GUNTHER STEIN, representing HOLY MARS, ZIPPO, and MAXBULK."

Darkstar bows, "I am Lord Darkstar, at your service." He attempts to kiss her hand, if she'll let him.

[Crows-Nest] Sakai exclaims (at Gunther), "YES!"

(From Whizzard) She does, trying not to smirk.

MixBlasterK says, "I am MixBlaster K, the bringer of smooth sultry rhythms"

Sakai says, "Asahina 'The Demon' Sakai. I also fight under the name 'The Executioner'."

Whizzard says (to Darkstar), "You must be old man Mansereg's nephew."

[whiz-games] Zero says, "emit Sakai says, "And I live under the name of Sanders.""

[Crows-Nest] GuntherStein says (to MixBlaster), "I can only think of that one dieselsweeties line: My name is MC Menses and my Flow be Fresh."

[whiz-games] Zero says, "ah, well"

Whizzard asks (of Darkstar), "I assume you're the team captain here, then?"

GuntherStein tries unsuccessfully not to roll his eyes.

Sakai asks, "What, no throng of objections?"

Darkstar looks around for any objection, before nodding.

Zero shrugs.

Darkstar says, "It would seem that I am."

Whizzard says, "Ok, we'll start by interviewing you, and then we'll get some sound bytes from the rest of the team."

[whiz-games] Sakai asks (of Zero), "Was that a Winnie-the-Pooh ref?"

[whiz-games] Sakai asks, "BTW, what's the name of the network again? Extreme Sports?"

Whizzard says (to darkstar), "Make a Listen check."

[whiz-games] Zero says, "A somewhat fumbled one, yeah. First one I thought of."

[whiz-games] Darkstar says, "Empire Sports 1."

[whiz-games] Zero says, "Argh, just can't seem to type what I mean to today."

Darkstar rolls 1 20-sided die: 13 | 13 + 0 = 13

[Crows-Nest] (from Sakai) Whizzard says, "Ok, you hear Gunther's eyes rolling."

[Crows-Nest] GuntherStein says, "Heh."

[whiz-games] Sakai asks, "And the channel?"

[whiz-games] Darkstar says, "I'm guessing ES1 is probably a channel, in the ES network."

[whiz-games] Sakai asks, "Like, what would be the equivalent of 'next on Fox'? 'Next on ES1'?"

Whizzard says (to darkstar), "You barely hear her mutter "Better go softball on the questions, I guess. Don't want Mansereg pissed at me." Composing herself and her makeup, she gestures you over to the couches."

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "ES1, yeah"

Darkstar takes a seat, relaxed and with his feet up on the coffee table.

[whiz-games] GuntherStein asks, "Gestures all of us, or just him?"

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "All of you."

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "Sorry."

Zero slumps down on a couch, backpack at his feet.

MixBlasterK swings his backpack beside himself as he sits down.

GuntherStein plops down on the couch. His armor probably does a number on the upholstery.

(From Whizzard) Lacey takes a seat in a comfortable recliner, and arranges her skirt to show off her legs a bit.

[Crows-Nest] GuntherStein says (to elf), "You guys make good cookies."

Sakai stands beside the couch and arranges his swords.

Darkstar smiles, while making eye contact with Lacey.

Sakai asks (of cameraman), "Am I in the shot?"

Whizzard says, "The cameraman nods. "Okay gang, in three <holds up two fingers, then one, then points at Lacey>""

[Crows-Nest] Darkstar asks, "Am I the only non-human in the party?"

[Crows-Nest] MixBlasterK says, "I'm half-elf"

Whizzard says, "Hi, Lacey Silverstring here, with the new Xcrawl team, the Stone Cold Killahs."

[Crows-Nest] MixBlasterK says, "it's hard to tell, with the ears under the hat and all"

Whizzard says, "I'm talking with the team captain, Lord Darkstar."

MixBlasterK tries his best to look chillin'.

Darkstar gestures, 'hey, to the camera.

Whizzard says, "(she turns to Darkstar) So, Lord Darkstar. How do you rate your team's odds of success today? We all know that DJ Greenskin is a tough customer."

Darkstar says (to Lacey), "Lacey, I have the utmost respect for DJ Greenskin. But we're a team, and as long as we remember that -- as long as we stay together -- I think we can take anything she throws at us."

Zero grins, nodding.

Whizzard says, "Lacey smiles, "Looks like you're a confident team captain, and at such a young age, too. How did you become involved in XCrawl, if you don't mind me asking?""

Darkstar says, "Well, I've always been a sportsman. Lacrosse, rugby, fencing... but there's a limit to how much you can do on the field, with the padding and the blunted swords."

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "Everyone else make sure your clip is ready to paste soon."

Darkstar says, "XCrawl is an opportunity for people to show what they can *really* do, when the gloves come off and the gauntlets go on."

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says, "hey, my clip only comes out to just over 150 words. nice"

Darkstar says, "And that's what I wanted a part of."

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says, "and I was afraid it looked huge"

Whizzard says, "Ah, looking for a bit rougher 'action' then? Admirable. <Lacey smiles, prettily, and recrosses her legs>"

Whizzard asks, "Would you mind introducing the other members of your team?"

MixBlasterK starts to say something, remembers the camera, and stops himself.

[Crows-Nest] GuntherStein says, "Lacey is looking for a bit of rougher 'action' AMATNE"

Darkstar says, "Of course -- he turns to his right. "Lacey, this is MixBlaster K. He's got a dungeon beat in his heart, and he's going to be our team spirit, I know it.""

Darkstar pauses to let MBK speak.

MixBlasterK says, "hey all, I just want to bring some love, some life, and some mad phat bass to this show"

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says, "that's all, unless someone's expecting a life story. ;)"

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "Nope. Clips are a bit later."

Darkstar says, "Over here, Gunther Stein. He's a holy warrior -- watch out for this guy, and watch out for that iron he's packing."

[Crows-Nest] MixBlasterK says, "that's such a great name"

[Crows-Nest] Sakai says, "I like your name best, actually."

[Crows-Nest] MixBlasterK says, "especially because it reminded me of one of the few good memories I have of playing Everquest - running around with a stein in each hand and increasing my Alcohol Tolerance skill"

[whiz-games] Whizzard asks, "Gunther? Sound bite?"

[whiz-games] Alex says (to Whizzard), "Awwwk! Word on the street is that gunther is a silly person."

[whiz-games] GuntherStein says, "Incoming"

[whiz-games] Darkstar exclaims, "Sound byte, not clip!"

[whiz-games] Darkstar says, "(Er, bite)"

[whiz-games] (from MixBlasterK) GuntherStein says, "8F"

[whiz-games] Zero exclaims, "43 CE E2 FF!"

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "Er, yeah. Just a short sentence."

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says, "alt, 4C"

[whiz-games] Zero says, "...MBK dammit"

GuntherStein says, "Yaa that's right, captain. (Looks straight into the camera) Hear me now, all the other wimpy teams. You might as well walk out that NoGo door right now and GO HOME and cry yourselves to sleep on your big mooshy pillows, because we're going to win this one. Yaaa."

[Crows-Nest] MixBlasterK falls over.

[whiz-games] GuntherStein says, "Got a bit triggerhappy there, sorry."

Darkstar fist-salutes Gunther. "Yeah!"

MixBlasterK exclaims, "Yeah!"

MixBlasterK says, "word."

Sakai smiles thinly.

Whizzard asks, "<Lacey laughs twinklingly> Sounds like they better watch out for you guys. Who's the strong, silent type there?"

MixBlasterK glances jealously at Sakai.

Sakai glances to Darkstar.

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "She gestures to Sakai"

Sakai waits for his introduction.

Darkstar says, "Back there, we got Sakai. He's come a long way to be here -- and I think he's got a few tricks to teach the rest of us."

Sakai nods. His accent has suddenly gotten much thicker. "Is great honour to be part of this team. I look forward to facing DJ Greenskin and bringing great misfortune to her."

[Crows-Nest] Sakai says, "Damn, I tried to change my quote halfway through and confused myself."

Whizzard says, "<Lacey smiles> I've seen your work in the Asian leagues, and I'm sure she's got a lot of misfortune coming."

Darkstar grins, "And finally, this here's my man Zero. He's got the hardest jobs of all -- keeping the rest of us on the straight and narrow, and keeping us all *in one piece*."

Zero says "Yeah, the healing, that's a gift to the party...but I hope to add some crunch, too." He taps his mace on his shoulder and smiles at the camera.

Whizzard says, "<Lacey purses her lips> Ooh, spellslinging and big, firm muscles to boot."

[Crows-Nest] Sakai says, "Retch."

[Crows-Nest] MixBlasterK says, "hee hee"

Zero grins.

[Crows-Nest] Whizzard says, "Heh heh. Guess which team pulled the 'skin reporter'."

[Crows-Nest] MixBlasterK says, "inside, she's cursing the world, asking herself why she's sunk so low after a centuries-long lifetime of devoting her life to the quest for knowledge and wisdom"

Whizzard says, "Lacey turns back to Darkstar."

[Crows-Nest] GuntherStein says (to Mix), "That's what happens when you have a Will save of -4"

[Crows-Nest] MixBlasterK says, "hee"

Whizzard asks, "Looks like you've got a 'solid' team here, Lord Darkstar. Anything else you'd like to add?"

Darkstar says, "Just that we can't wait to get in there and show DJ Greenskin what we've got."

Whizzard exclaims, "Terrific! This is Lacey Silverstring with the Stone Cold Killahs, signing off. Back to you. Cliff!"

Whizzard says, "Camera man says, "Clear! Good one, Lacey.""

Sakai snaps his visor up again as soon as he's off camera.

Whizzard says, "She stands up and shakes hands again."

MixBlasterK says (to Lacey), "great hype, you've got the gifts the camera wants baby"

MixBlasterK says, "a great speaking voice, I mean"

(From Whizzard) Lacey shakes her head, sadly.

Zero slings his pack over one shoulder and walks over to collect a doughnut.

Darkstar says (to Lacey, when she comes to shake his hand), "I'm thinking of throwing a little post-crawl party back at my place when this is all over. You're free to come along, if you like."

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK exclaims, "but ... but ... my Cha stat! it's gotta work!"

Darkstar glances at the crew. "Without the cameras, of course." He winks.

[whiz-games] GuntherStein says, "Your phat mind tricks won't work here, D00d."

Whizzard says (to darkstar), "Sorry, my lord. I'm afraid I've made prior arrangements for tonight. But thanks for the invite."

MixBlasterK says, "Okay, this is where it all happens. The hour of action. I must prepare."

Darkstar smiles, "Maybe some other time, then."

Whizzard says, "Lacey then blows a kiss to Sakai as the cameraman bundles out the equipment just ahead of her."

[Crows-Nest] (from GuntherStein) MixBlasterK snorts a line of coke.

MixBlasterK puts on his headphones and whips on another record. He stands there, eyes closed, trancelike as he bobs his head to a beat you can clearly hear across the room.

Sakai smiles at Lacey. "Hope we'll see you again after the show."

[Crows-Nest] MixBlasterK says, "hee hee"

Sakai opens a pouch on his belt and makes a show of slipping a card into it.

[Crows-Nest] Whizzard says, "Snrk"

MixBlasterK opens his eyes in time to see Sakai score the reporter's phonenumber. "Damn you ninjas, always stealing the women!"

Sakai says (to MixBlasterK), "You see, this is what happens when you act with respect."

Sakai says, "And I'm not a ninja. I am a samurai. We have a long and noble tradition."

MixBlasterK says, "Hey, I should try that gimmick sometime"

Sakai says, "...of stealing gaijan women."

Darkstar rubs his jaw, once the cameras are out of range.

Zero pays no attention, more interested in a sugar spree at the moment. "Hey, Toblerone!"

MixBlasterK chuckles.

MixBlasterK exclaims (at Zero), "!"

Sakai says (to Zero), "Where? I missed it. Mmm..."

[whiz-games] Darkstar says, "Now I know why Uncle Phyl got his jaw replaced by a molded plastic replica."

MixBlasterK exclaims, "Sweet! Legal endorphin rushes are perfect in the dungeon, let's stock up!"

Whizzard says, "Rupert suddenly puts a hand to his ear. "Woopz. Thatz de word. Bezt get ready, gentlemen.""

MixBlasterK stuffs a Toblerone in his hoodie pocket.

Whizzard says, "Gut luck, guyz."

Zero looks around at his new team. "Well, I guess this is it.

Sakai grabs a fistful of chocolate and stuffs his pouches, then loosens his swords.

Sakai says (to Rupert), "Much thanks."

Darkstar says (to Team), ""Let's show DJ G who's boss in this dungeon.""

Zero extends his arms, shakes his hands, rolls his head around on his neck.

Zero hops a few times.

Whizzard says, "Abruptly, the spotlights in the room switch on."

MixBlasterK steels his eyes and taps his toes to the sweet rhythm.

Whizzard says, "The unmistakeable sounds of DJ Greenskin's theme song play over the speakers."

MixBlasterK scowls.

Whizzard says, ""It's not easy...being green...""

[Crows-Nest] Eolo exclaims, "ha!"

GuntherStein issues a short prayer to Mars.

Whizzard says, "The AVS lights up, revealing a rather attractive female half-orc."

Whizzard says, "She sneers at you, showing her teeth."

[Crows-Nest] GuntherStein exclaims, "Sneak attack with a heavy crossbow!"

Zero jams his hands in his pockets.

[whiz-games] Sakai asks, "Is this on air?"

[Crows-Nest] Whizzard says, "Hard to say. Possibly."

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "Hard to say. Possibly."

Whizzard says, "Hello, boyz."

[Crows-Nest] MixBlasterK says, "'rather attractive half-orc' just doesn't parse for me"

Whizzard asks, "Come to play in my little dungeon, eh?"

MixBlasterK says, "We were thinking of kicking it's butt, actually."

Darkstar says, "Hey, hey, G."

[Crows-Nest] MixBlasterK says, "MBK doesn't know his punctuation, apparently"

Whizzard says, "I think you'll find that 'DJ G' is "the boss" around here."

Whizzard says, "But you're welcome to try to prove me wrong."

Whizzard says, "After all, I need some new shots for my bloopers reel."

Zero rocks on his heels and narrows his eyes at the screen.

Whizzard exclaims, "No last words? Well then, here...We...GO!"

GuntherStein readies his axe.

[Crows-Nest] Sakai says, "Since Zero still hasn't told me a theme, I've arbitrarily added the Bif Naked cover of We're Not Gonna Take It to my playlist for him."

[Crows-Nest] MixBlasterK says, "heh"

Darkstar says, "Let's play."

MixBlasterK says, "I'm down wit it."

Whizzard says, "The air bursts into the sounds of the Xcrawl league's theme music. Heavy thumping beats shake the ground beneath your feet and the spotlights swirl around the room."

Sakai exclaims, "BONZAI!"

Zero looks from side to side.

[Crows-Nest] MixBlasterK says, "hee hee"

Whizzard exclaims, "Ladies and gentlemen, for tonight's match, we have, in this corner, the Stone. Cold. Killahsssss!"

[Crows-Nest] Whizzard says, "Oh audience...."

Darkstar pumps his fist in the air.

GuntherStein cheers self-congradulatorily.

Zero turns, waving with both hands.

MixBlasterK crosses his arms in a show of chill.

Sakai draws his katana in a fluid motion and poses.

(From Whizzard) The audience cheers loudly.

[whiz-games] Sakai says, "Oh, I thought we were still in the Green Room."

Whizzard exclaims, "Led by their team captain, Lord Darkstar!"

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "Your clip, sir."

[whiz-games] Darkstar | Soundtrack: The short version of "Into the Pit", by Linkin Park. Written specifically to be Palanel's theme. It doesn't explicitly mention him, but does vaguely allude to a man going down into a dark place to face unknown dangers. It has a very strong beat, which encourages listeners to nod along with it.

Darkstar | Opening shot: The music is just coming up gradually. It is dusk. A man (Palanel), wearing a flapping cape, can be seen in silhouette. He is walking away from the camera, towards the horizon where the sun is setting. (He is actually wearing his XCrawl uniform, although this isn't obvious, because he's in silhouette.)

Darkstar | Voice: "I am called... Palanel."

Darkstar | The *beat* suddenly kicks in, and the scene cuts with it to Palanel in the gym, in the middle of a fencing match, dressed in the standard white uniform. *Beat*, Palanel on the lacrosse field, running. *Beat*, Palanel hanging from a rock face, climbing with minimal gear. *Beat*, back to the dusk shot.

Darkstar | Voice: "I am the culmination of countless generations before me. I have a destiny."

[Crows-Nest] MixBlasterK says, "yeesh"

[Crows-Nest] MixBlasterK says, "heh"

Darkstar | Cut to Palanel in a mocked-up dungeon, wearing full XCrawl gear. He's facing down a group of three warriors, each dressed in worn and scuffed leather armor and wielding axes. Each is also wearing a dark executioner-style hood that covers his face. As if on a cue, they charge. Palanel draws his sword, and a choreographed fight follows. The footage is cut so as to make him look as good as possible, and also so that each major blow is on a beat with the music. Palanel, of course, fights flawlessly. To a trained special effects expert, it might be obvious that this fight is a mock-up, but it's a skillfully made mock-up. At the end, the three warriors are on the ground. Palanel wipes his blade on the clothing of one of them before sheathing it, and then turns to look off camera at what is next.

Darkstar | Cut back to the dusk shot.
Darkstar | Voice: "I have the power to achieve that destiny."

Darkstar | Cut, on beats, to various shots of Palanel, like the earlier montage. Here, however, instead of shots of him playing normal sports, they're actual shots from his XCrawl career so far, each one a moment of him triumphing against some enemy. The climax of the song comes during this segment.

Darkstar | Cut back to the dusk shot. The music is beginning to trail away now.

[Crows-Nest] Sakai says, "Wow. THis sounds a lot like my clip."

Darkstar | Voice: "I am Lord Darkstar. I will enter the pit." Music suddenly comes back for one last surge. "And I will defeat it!"

Darkstar | Music trails out again, this time for real. As it does, the sun finishes setting, and the scene fades to black.

(From Whizzard) The crowd cheers!

[Crows-Nest] (from Sakai) Darkstar | Voice: "I am woman, hear me roar!"

[Crows-Nest] MixBlasterK says, "hee hee"

[Crows-Nest] GuntherStein says, "Ha"

Whizzard says, "And the other members of the team...Gunther Stein..."

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "Clip..."

GuntherStein | Scene opens on a dark and stormy night. An old Victorian home sits on a hill, illuminated fitfully by lightning flashes.

[Crows-Nest] Darkstar says, "(AFK for a few moments during the other clips.)"

GuntherStein | Within, a woman huddles with her small child, both obviously frightened out of their wits.

GuntherStein | The bedroom door opens and a mummy (well, a Hollywood mummy) groans and creaks towards them, as the scary music swells.

GuntherStein | Offstage, we hear Gunther's thick Austrian accent: "It's time to FEEL THE BURN!"

GuntherStein | Gunther jumps between the family and the monster, seemingly out of nowhere. His greataxe, with the word 'ZIPPO' engraved in large letters across it, seems to have a small flame emitting from the top. He blows across the top of it, and a cloud of flame spews from his mouth, apparently incinerating the mummy.

GuntherStein | He then turns towards the scared family, smiling cheezily. He notices that the small child has a scrape on his arm. With great drama, Gunther prays to his god, and lays his hands upon the injured kid. When he removes his hands, lo, the child is healed!

[Crows-Nest] Sakai says, "Oh, dear god. Gunther's hilarious."

GuntherStein | Cut to a gym. Gunther is there, looking over a man who is clearly trying to lift too much weight on the bench press. "Get out of my way, you girly man," says Gunther, as he takes the bench and proceeds the lift the weights numerous times.

GuntherStein | "Kids, it's important to take care of your body. That's why I take MAXBULK, the only diet supplement shown to really increase your muscle mass! Buy some today." He then smiles crookedly as the shot fades.

[whiz-games] GuntherStein says, "Done."

[Crows-Nest] MixBlasterK says, "oh my word"

[Crows-Nest] GuntherStein says, "Thanks. I think."

(From Whizzard) The crowd cheers and laughs!

[Crows-Nest] MixBlasterK says, "that ruled"

[Crows-Nest] Sakai asks, "Aside: are you a paladin, or fighter/cleric?"

Whizzard says, "...Mix Blaster K..."

[Crows-Nest] GuntherStein says, "Rarr"

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "Next"

[Crows-Nest] GuntherStein says, "The latter. I was considering the former, but it didn't seem to fit with XCrawl."

MixBlasterK | Fade from black, as funky beats drift through the speakers. The camera pans

[Crows-Nest] MixBlasterK says (to as), "I curse newline chars"

[Crows-Nest] MixBlasterK says, "and ellipses"

MixBlasterK | around a closeup of turntables, with a madly dancing crowd beyond. Suddenly two hands are flying over the turntables, climaxing the music into mad breaks and a perfect transition to the next record. As the crowd dances even harder, the camera pans out, showing MixBlaster K doing what he does best.

[Crows-Nest] Whizzard says, "You can do eet! :)"

MixBlasterK | Scenes of MixBlaster and his trademark sleek-black fiberglass crossbow in dungeon action start to flicker in. As you're assaulted with images of MixBlaster casting spells, slashing orcs with his sword, the camera pans out even more to show two caged goblins in the background of MixK's DJ stage. Samples of "MixBlaster K, rule the day" twitch in and out of the music.

MixBlasterK | Just as the bassline gets insane, we see a clip of MixK's signature move: dancing lights cast just before a wicked scratch-break routine, and a crossbow shot nailing a goblin between the eyes as he lets the breaks transition into a huge phat beat and a loud "MixBlaster K!"

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says, "done"

(From Whizzard) The crowd cheers and rocks out!

[whiz-games] GuntherStein says, "Woo woo."

[Crows-Nest] Sakai says, "Cool."

Whizzard says, "...Zero..."

Zero | Clip: Various dungeon shots of Zero, peering around corners, kicking open doors. In an oversaturated shot, a heavenly choir sings as Zero lays on hands, one to each side of a very pretty-looking incision on a cute female elf's arm. The incision knits itself up, and Zero slaps a Band-Aid on it.

Zero | Close shot of Zero's face. He smiles big. The camera pulls back, and he says "Zero damage, that's my goal!" Big thumbs-up to camera.

[whiz-games] Zero says, "Er, done."

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says, "nice"

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "Heheh, bonus XP for brevity. :)"

[whiz-games] Zero says, "grin"

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says, "and bonus style points for healing a cute elf"

(From Whizzard) The crowd cheers!

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says, "I need to remember to feature rave-junkie gnomes in my next clip"

[Crows-Nest] Sakai says, "Nice tagline, too."

Whizzard exclaims, "...and the Beast from the East...Sakai!"

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "clip"

Sakai | (Overhead shot of a deserted town. Faint music is heard - it is an inch from plagiarizing the theme to "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly." The narrator is the voice that does every damn movie preview.)

Sakai |
Sakai | Narrator: Samurai.  Ronin.  Masterless man.

Sakai | (A samurai warrior with a demon helm is stalking down the street, hand on sword, peering warily left and right. The camera slowly tightens on him.)

Sakai | Narrator: They called him an outcast, and a demon. They declared that he was unfit to live.

Sakai | (Suddenly, the warrior throws himself to one side and rolls to his feet as puffs of dust explode at his feet. With a blood-curdling scream, a ninja drops from a rooftop behind him and he turns, drawing his katana in a fluid motion, and chops it in half. Three more come out of nowhere, and he clashes briefly with all three at once before dispatching them, leaving them maimed and groaning.)

Sakai | Narrator: Now, he's coming to America to prove them all wrong. He will go home a Champion - and his enemies will go home DEAD!

Sakai | (The warrior suddenly whirls as the camera swoops in. He brings the katana down in front of the camera, and the screen goes black. A whispered chant begins: "Let the bodies hit the floor / Let the bodies hit the floor / Let the bodies hit the floor / Let the bodies hit the ... FLOOR!")

Sakai | [ Music: Drowning Pool - "Bodies (XXX Remix)" ]

Sakai | (The screen shows a montage of overlapping clips. Each is a medium shot or a close-up of the samurai slashing at an opponent - orcs, goblins, humans. After a minute, the music and montage fade and we see the warrior standing in a spotlight in the center of a dark room.)

Sakai | Narrator: This season, see the triumphant North American debut of ASAHINA "THE DEMON" SAKAI, Asian League Champion...

Sakai | (The warrior draws his wakizashi and brandishes it above his head.)
Sakai | Sakai: ARAI KWIZERE!
Sakai | Narrator: Only on the Empire Sports Network!
Sakai | (The screen goes black.)

(From Whizzard) The crowd cheers, with one group of asians going nuts in the left wing.

Whizzard says, "The lights dim..."

Whizzard says, "And in this corner...the Mistress of Distress...the DJ of Waylay..."

MixBlasterK says, under his breath, "The receiver of the ugly stick beating ... "

Whizzard exclaims, "With a body count of 23 adventurers...D.J. Greeeennnnsskkkkiiiiiiiinnnnnnn!"

Whizzard says, "(Queen's "We will rock you" plays, the crowd clapping and stamping along.)"

[Crows-Nest] Darkstar says, "(Back, and scrollback read)"

Sakai can't help nodding along too.

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK asks, "by the way, do we have any door-unlockers?"

Whizzard says, "The screen shows DJ Greenskin's smiling face, before panning to a shot of a party of adventurers wading through kneedeep liquid."

[whiz-games] Darkstar asks, "People or things?"

[whiz-games] GuntherStein says, "I gotta crowbar."

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says (to Dark), "whatever will work"

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says, "people specifically"

[whiz-games] Darkstar says, "I have picks, but haven't used them much."

Whizzard says, "A group of kobolds fire flaming arrows at them, and the liquid bursts into flame. The adventurers die screaming."

MixBlasterK grimaces.

[Crows-Nest] GuntherStein says, "Killed by kobolds. How humiliating."

Whizzard says, "Another shot, of a big man in full plate, looking kind of Gunther-like. Two hobgoblins hold him against a wall."

Darkstar says (to Team), "Note: if we find any pools of oil, we go over or around. Not through."

Whizzard says, "A kobold puts on a spiked helmet, and as the kobold charges him, head down, the man begins to scream in dawning horror."

Whizzard says, "The screen goes black a moment before the kobold impacts into his groin."

[Crows-Nest] GuntherStein asks, "Are they holding him back against the wall, or face against the wall?"

[Crows-Nest] GuntherStein says, "Oh."

Sakai says, "I sense a theme here."

Whizzard says, "The crowd screams out, "Oooh! That's gotta hurt!""

Darkstar asks, "Everybody wearing your cups?"

GuntherStein squirms slightly.

MixBlasterK adjusts the strap on his turntable so it hangs just a bit lower.

[Crows-Nest] Eolo says, "heh"

Whizzard says, "And then the screen turns back to DJ G's sneering face as she begins laughing evilly."

Whizzard says, "Abner, the head referee comes out of the aisle, standing between you and the AVS screen."

[Crows-Nest] schep says, "rats, I missed the cheering part during supper."

Whizzard says, "Turning to you, he says, "Now remember, I want a good clean Crawl! You know the rules. If you break them, (here he draws his gun) I'll come down on you like a ton of bricks!""

Whizzard says, "Behind him, on the AVS screen, DJ G is making faces at him."

GuntherStein bows curtly.

Whizzard says, "He spins around, and she looks innocent. The crowd giggles."

Darkstar touches his brow to the ref.

Sakai sticks his tongue out at the ref.

Whizzard exclaims, "And YOU! No more TPKs! We're running out of adventurers!"

Whizzard says, "DJ G holds up a bloody heart. "Cross my heart. No more TPKs.""

MixBlasterK pulls out a shiny silver gel pen, writes "KOBOLD KILLAH" on his crossbow.

Whizzard says, "Abner looks disgusted, and stomps off. The crowd jeers at him."

GuntherStein says, "Let's get ready to RUUUMMMBLLEEE"

Whizzard says, "DJ G turns to you all."

Whizzard says, ""Ok, it's time to get serious. At ease, players, while I describe the scene. This is dungeon level one-the rewards are small, but so are the challenges. Your job is simple enough: fight the monsters, find the princesses, and escape. There are three princesses hidden on the first level. Is everyone ready to meet your princesses? [big cheer from crowd] Glad to hear it. Ladies and gentlemen, your TwinCrawl Princesses!""

MixBlasterK exclaims, "Yeah, baby!"

Sakai jabs a finger at MixBlasterK. "You - be nice!"

[whiz-games] Darkstar asks, "Dividing up the loot will be hard enough, but how do you divide up princesses?"

MixBlasterK asks (of Sakai), "Whatever do you mean?"

[whiz-games] Eolo says, "mario, your princess is in another castle"

Sakai says, "Actually, don't. You'll make me look better."

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says (to Eolo), "hee"

Whizzard says, "The AVS screen shows a team of sleek dancers performing a tight, provocative routine to hard hitting drum and base."

MixBlasterK says (to Sakai), "not likely, my friend. Tonight I chill and let the ladies come to me. Well, after we find them I mean."

Whizzard says, "They wear black bikini tops and shorts, topped by old fashioned conical "princess hats" complete with a colorful tassel at the top."

MixBlasterK says, "ooooooh yeah"

Darkstar says, "Sweet."

Whizzard says, "The camera focuses on them one at a time, and their names appear."

Whizzard says, "Princess Vogue: A beautiful black woman with braids."

Whizzard says, "Princess Keya: Gorgeous blonde, athletic white girl, fresh faced and cute."

MixBlasterK says (to Darkstar, quietly), "Dibs on Keya."

Whizzard says, "Princess Felony: Freaky punk girl with black hair, colorful tattoos, nose and pelly piercings. She sticks her pierced tongue out at the camera."

[Crows-Nest] Sakai says, "Dammit, I was waiting for the third name to make that joke."

[whiz-games] Darkstar says, "Ha."

[Crows-Nest] MixBlasterK says, "hee"

Whizzard says, ""Ok, my Doom Guards are going to hide the three princesses somewhere on the first level. Your mission: free all three princesses, collect the red, white, and blue card keys, and find your way out. Is that so hard? Whatever. Ok, let's get reaaaaddddyyy to meeellllleeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!""

[whiz-games] Sakai says (to zero), "BTW, I've been using #Crows for kibbitzing, which I just noticed you're not on."

Whizzard says, ""In the name of Apollo, we thank our merciful Emperor Ronald I for providing us this opportunity, once again demonstrating the glory of the Empire. So having said, let us begin these proceedings. Are you ready, players?""

[whiz-games] Zero asks, "crows?"

[Crows-Nest] Zero has joined the channel.

Whizzard says, "The cameras turn to the party."

Darkstar asks, "Are we *ready*, Killahs?"

GuntherStein shakes his greataxe in salute.

[Crows-Nest] MixBlasterK says (to zero), "the name came from when people were playing 7th Sea"

[whiz-games] Sakai asks, "Shoot, what's Japanese for 'yes'?"

GuntherStein says, "ARRRRRR"

[whiz-games] Darkstar says, "Hai, I think."

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "Hai"

[whiz-games] GuntherStein says, "Hai"

Sakai exclaims, "Hai!"

[whiz-games] Sakai says, "Sounds right."

Zero cracks his knuckles.

Darkstar exclaims, "We're READYYYYYY!"

MixBlasterK grabs his crossbow, eyes down it, and casually says, "Oh yeah, we're ready."

[whiz-games] GuntherStein says, "Or maybe that's Japanese for 'umbrella'. Oh well."

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK asks, "can I mug the camera?"

[Crows-Nest] Zero says, "Okay, that makes sense, I suppose."

Whizzard says, ""In the name of Emperor Ronald I, the most benevolent and just, I declare this contest begun. The dungeon awaits! We wish you all success and adventure, but if you die...[the crowd erupts with the traditional cry "You Die!"]. Begin!""

[Crows-Nest] Zero says, ">look"

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says, "or we could leave that until later :)"

[whiz-games] GuntherStein asks, "There's, like, a door or something?"

MixBlasterK asks (of Team), "Ok, who's navigating?"

MixBlasterK says, "We need to designate to keep our pace"

Darkstar says, "I'll take point."

MixBlasterK says, "I thought you might."

Whizzard says, "The screen flashes to the Princesses. Their dance is interrupted by four performers in stylized "Doom guard" armor, who show up and capture them. The princesses act outraged and afraid. (The acting is very, very bad, but they all look fantastic)."

GuntherStein says (to Dark), "Right behind ya, big guy."

Darkstar nods. "Who's got the rear?"

Whizzard says, "The ref blows his whistle, and a door slides open in front of you."

Sakai says, "I'll take the rear."

MixBlasterK exclaims, "Let's go!"

Zero says, "I'm in front of Sakai, then."

MixBlasterK is behind Gunther Stein.

Darkstar looks in to see what he's walking into, quickly.

[whiz-games] Darkstar says, "I don't trust G not to trap the entrance."

Sakai exclaims, "Hit it with a stick!"

(From Whizzard) The room is a dark shaft, ten feet by ten feet, and it goes down as far as you can see. Three feet away from the open doorway are two smooth poles, about three feet apart from each other.

Darkstar says, "Aha."

Darkstar asks, "Lights?"

[whiz-games] Darkstar asks, "Metal poles?"

Whizzard says, "Not in this room. Only coming from the entrance."

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "Fireman's poles."

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "Metal, yes."

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says, "aha"

[whiz-games] Darkstar says (to Whizz), "That was an IC question, to the party."

Darkstar says, "Could be charged. Don't touch the poles and anything grounded at the same time."

Zero rustles in his pack for a flashlight, and shines it into the room.

Zero looks to see what's on the opposite walls, and if the light helps any looking down.

MixBlasterK says, "ok ok, let's go"

[whiz-games] Sakai asks, "Do they look greased?"

MixBlasterK says, "just look over your shoulder for the ambush, and keep moving"

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "Nope."

Darkstar spits on his hands for stickiness.

Darkstar says, "OK, taking center."

MixBlasterK says, "And let's expect baddies to come down those shiny poles."

Whizzard says, "DC 12 Jump check to make it over."

Darkstar jumps to the center pole, and grabs it.

MixBlasterK double-checks that his crossbow is loaded and ready to kill.

Darkstar rolls 1 20-sided die: 12 | 12 + 13 = 25

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says, "oh, the poles go down"

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says, "I really shouldn't skim so much"

Whizzard says, "Darkstar grabs on with one hand and goes spinning down stylishly"

MixBlasterK rolls 20-sided dice: 9 | 9 + 6 = 15

[whiz-games] Zero says, "Well, we may as well all follow. Go on."

Darkstar says, "Woo, hoo-hoo-hoooo..."

Whizzard says, "Down goes MBK"

Zero rolls 1 20-sided die: 6 | 6 + 1 = 7

Whizzard says, "Zero starts to fall off the edge..."

Whizzard says, "And down he goes."

[whiz-games] Zero says, "No jump skill, ah, well."

Whizzard rolls 2 6-sided dice: 2 1 | 3

Zero says, "aaaaa"

Whizzard says, "You take 3 points of falling damage."

Zero crunches.

Whizzard asks, "Who's left?"

Darkstar gives Zero a hand up. "Ouch."

Sakai makes a grab for Zero as he falls, but misses.

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says, "hey, I knew I forgot to calculate something"

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says, "namely, my HP"

Sakai sighs and makes a running leap for the pole.

GuntherStein rolls 1 20-sided die: 14 | 14 - 2 = 12

Sakai rolls 1 20-sided die: 13 | 13 + 5 = 18

[whiz-games] GuntherStein says, "Sorry, had to look up my armor check penalty"

[whiz-games] Sakai says, "Oops, I thought you were down already."

Whizzard says, "In stereo, Gunther and Sakai leap onto the two poles and slide down."

Darkstar says, "Let's get those lights on so we can see each other."

MixBlasterK looks around.

Whizzard says, "You are all in darkness."

GuntherStein's armor screeches all the way down.

Zero clicks on his Maglite.

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK asks, "even us elvish-ish people can't see?"

Whizzard says, "You are in a small 10' by 10' room. There are no doors."

Darkstar looks for hidden exits.

Darkstar rolls 1 20-sided die: 19 | 19 + 20 = 39

Sakai looks up the poles.

MixBlasterK says, "Well, this is a fascinating place."

MixBlasterK says, "Let's get the heck out of it."

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says, "holy search bonus, batman"

Sakai asks, "We should have gone up, maybe?"

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "Ah right, lens of detection."

[whiz-games] Zero exclaims, "yow!"

[whiz-games] Darkstar says, "I have the Hugeass Monogoggle of Bigeye."

Whizzard says, "Darkstar examines the north wall for a second and flips a switch. A door slides open."

Sakai is doing his speak-no-Engrish thing in case the camera is watching.

MixBlasterK says, "Excellent."

Darkstar asks, "Shall we?"

Darkstar heads in.

[Crows-Nest] GuntherStein says, "Yor dunjon suxors, Greenskin."

Whizzard asks, "Marching order as standard?"

GuntherStein follows.

[whiz-games] GuntherStein says, "Yep"

[whiz-games] Darkstar says (to Whizz), "Sure."

MixBlasterK follows next.

Zero is next.

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says, "etc etc"

(From Whizzard) This room is dimly lit, and in the shadows you see figures moving forward menacingly towards the door.

Whizzard says, "Roll for init."

Darkstar says, "We got company."

Darkstar rolls 1 20-sided die: 4 | 4 + 2 = 6

MixBlasterK rolls 20-sided dice: 13 | 13 + 3 = 16

Sakai rolls 1 20-sided die: 7 | 7 + 2 = 9

Zero rolls 1 20-sided die: 5 | 5

Whizzard rolls 1 20-sided die: 7 | 7 + 1 = 8

Whizzard asks, "Gunther?"

GuntherStein rolls 1 20-sided die: 17 | 17

Whizzard says, "Ok. Gunther, you're first."

GuntherStein charges, waving his greataxe.

Whizzard says, "Ok, roll to hit at +2."

[whiz-games] GuntherStein says, "So I charge and attack, well, whatever they are. Assuming they're within charge range."

GuntherStein rolls 1 20-sided die: 6 | 6 + 11 = 17

Whizzard asks, "That hits one of them. Damage?"

GuntherStein says, "YARRRRRRR"

[whiz-games] GuntherStein asks, "Is it also +2 to damage?"

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "Nope"

GuntherStein rolls 1 12-sided die: 1 | 1 + 7 = 8

[whiz-games] Zero asks, "Okay, am I not thinking of this right? Why did GS roll 1d20+11?"

GuntherStein says, "YARRRRRR"

[whiz-games] GuntherStein says, "+11 is my total attack bonus"

[whiz-games] Zero says, "Whew. Okay, then."

[whiz-games] GuntherStein says, "BAB+3, Str+4, Weapon focus+1, Magic weapon +1, charge+2"

[whiz-games] Darkstar asks, "+4 Str bonus, +something BAB, +2 charging?"

[whiz-games] Darkstar nods.

[whiz-games] Zero says, "Okay, that's what I missed ... base attack bonus. Thanks."

[whiz-games] GuntherStein hopes he gets to Cleave.

Whizzard says, "Gunther's axe slams into one of the creatures, and it lets out a bloodcurdling howl, fading off to a gurgle as blood fills its lungs. With a wrench, Gunther's axe is free, and it drops to the ground."

Whizzard says, "You are close enough to Cleave another."

GuntherStein says, "MARS BE PRAISED"

[Crows-Nest] Sakai exclaims, "Dude, you dropped your axe!"

GuntherStein rolls 1 20-sided die: 14 | 14 + 11 = 25

[Crows-Nest] MixBlasterK falls over

Whizzard asks, "Damage?"

[Crows-Nest] MixBlasterK says, "(at the battle cry)"

GuntherStein rolls 1 12-sided die: 9 | 9 + 7 = 16

[whiz-games] Zero says, "Sorry, all ... it really has been a long time since I played a game with dice :)"

Whizzard says, "Slamming the axe upwards, Gunther's axe splits the head of another creature in half. This time, it doesn't have a chance to make a sound."

Eolo has left.

Whizzard asks, "Can you great cleave?"

GuntherStein says, "Sadly, no."

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK asks, "me now?"

Whizzard says, "Ok. That's your action. One sec here. Technical difficulties."

[whiz-games] GuntherStein says, "Now I have to decide if I want to Grandstand, or Mug, or whatever."

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says, "IRTA 'hug' for a moment"

[Crows-Nest] (from Darkstar) Whizzard whispers (into his lapel), "Greenskin? I told you two wouldn't be enough goblins! Get soem more in here, fast!"

[Crows-Nest] MixBlasterK says, "hee"

[whiz-games] Darkstar says, "I don't think there's a live in-room audience."

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says, "I assumed they're watching through windows or something"

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says, "or cameras or whatever"

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "Ok, sorry, my keyboard batteries just died. Had to replace them."

Whizzard asks, "Ok, next up is MBK. Whaddya got?"

[whiz-games] Darkstar says (to MixB), "Yeah. According to the PDF, grandstanding is for a live audience, and mugging's for a camera."

Whizzard says, "There's 4 creatures left."

[Crows-Nest] (from GuntherStein) Whizzard says, "An announcement rings out 'And the new record for the quickest slaughter of the princesses goes to... Stone Cold Killahs!'

MixBlasterK raises his crossbow, eyes down the closest scary-looking thing, and fires.

Whizzard says, "Roll it"

MixBlasterK rolls 20-sided dice: 16 | 16 + 6 = 22

Whizzard asks, "Damage?"

MixBlasterK rolls 1 8-sided die: 3 | 3

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says, "meh"

Whizzard says, "The creature growls and gnaws at the bolt with its jaws, but doesn't go down."

MixBlasterK says, "Bring it, snarly."

Whizzard asks, "Sakai?"

Sakai whips his katana out and charges in. For the home video version, he will add anime speed lines here.

Sakai rolls 1 20-sided die: 16 | 16 + 11 = 27

Whizzard asks, "That's a clean hit. On a fresh beast or the injured one?"

Sakai says, "Fresh"

Whizzard says, "Ok, damage."

Sakai rolls 1 10-sided die: 5 | 5 + 4 = 9

[whiz-games] Sakai asks, "Yikes. Gunther gets a +7 to damage?"

[whiz-games] Darkstar says, "Charging, I'm guessing."

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK idles while on phone.

[whiz-games] GuntherStein says, "Yeah. I be buff."

Whizzard says, "Sakai jabs the katana into the creature's guts and pulls up. Its steaming entrails pour onto the ground."

[whiz-games] GuntherStein says, "+4 str, +%50 from 2-handed, +1 magical"

[whiz-games] Sakai exclaims, "Oh, I forgot the +50%!"

[whiz-games] Sakai says, "(Does that round up or down?)"

[whiz-games] GuntherStein says, "Down."

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "Three creatures left. And...uh oh. Their turn."

Whizzard says, "Two of them maneuver to flank Gunther on either side, while the injured one comes after Sakai."

Whizzard asks (of gunther_and_sakai), "AC?"

Sakai says, "17, +1 for Dodge"

Whizzard asks, "18 total, or 17 total?"

GuntherStein says, "16, including -2 from charging."

Sakai says, "18 total. Except I forgot the -2, so 16"

Whizzard says, "Ok. The first two attack Gunther..."

Whizzard rolls 1 20-sided die: 7 | 7 + 5 = 12

Whizzard rolls 1 20-sided die: 9 | 9 + 5 = 14

Whizzard says, "Two misses."

Whizzard says, "And Sakai..."

Whizzard rolls 1 20-sided die: 1 | 1 + 3 = 4

Whizzard says, "Miss. It seems distracted by the bolt in its shoulder."

GuntherStein laughs at their feeble efforts.

Whizzard says, "Darkstar, your turn/"

Darkstar moves to flank one of the beasts attacking Gunther, and strikes for its kidneys.

Darkstar rolls 1 20-sided die: 11 | 11 + 9 = 20

Whizzard says, "Ok. You can flank. Roll it."

Whizzard says, "Hit. Damage (+sneak attack)"

Darkstar rolls 1 6-sided die: 1 | 1 + 5 = 6

Darkstar rolls 1 6-sided die: 4 | 4

Whizzard says, "Ok, Darkstar comes up behind one of the two monsters on Gunther and jams his blade out through the front of its ribcage. It whimpers, quietly, and dies."

Whizzard says, "Zero"

Zero is going to whup the bolt-injured... um... shadowy monster-thing.

Zero rolls 1 20-sided die: 2 | 2 + 5 = 7

Whizzard says, "Sorry, that's a miss."

Whizzard says, "You had to hold back to keep from hitting Sakai"

Whizzard says, "Ok. Next round. Back to you, Gunther."

GuntherStein attacks the one that attacked him.

Whizzard says, "Roll it"

GuntherStein rolls 1 20-sided die: 6 | 6 + 9 = 15

Whizzard says, "You hit, but just barely. Damage."

GuntherStein rolls 1 12-sided die: 2 | 2 + 7 = 9

GuntherStein says, "YOU DIE NOW"

Whizzard says, "The creature's thick hide gives you trouble for a second, then you bear down on your sword and force it entirely through the beast's body."

[whiz-games] GuntherStein says, "Greataxe, actually, but I get the idea."

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "Whoops"

Whizzard says, "MBK"

Whizzard says, "Ok, MBK fires again at the same critter."

Whizzard rolls 1 20-sided die: 17 | 17 + 6 = 23

Whizzard says, "He hits and does..."

Whizzard rolls 1 8-sided die: 6 | 6

Whizzard says, "The bolt lodges just beneath the first bolt, apparently piercing something vital this time. This creature gurgles and dies."

GuntherStein high-fives all around.

Whizzard says, "You are victorious"

Whizzard says, "An AVS screen appear in one corner."

[Crows-Nest] Zero hums the Final Fantasy victory theme.

[Crows-Nest] Sakai asks, "What is AVS?"

[Crows-Nest] Alex says (to Sakai), "Awwwk! Word on the street is that AVS is Adult Verification Site."

[Crows-Nest] Sakai says (to Alex), "No, not that. Silly bird."

[Crows-Nest] Alex exclaims (at Sakai), "Awwwk! No parse found!"

[Crows-Nest] Darkstar says, "I'm thinking Audio-Video System."

Whizzard says, "DJ G's face sneers down at you from the screen."

[Crows-Nest] Whizzard says, "Arcane Video Screen"

Darkstar says, "Hey, G! Long time, no see."

Whizzard says, "I see you survived the appetizers."

Whizzard says, "I guess that means I'll have to dole out the loot."

(From Whizzard) A secret compartment opens in one wall. Inside are five envelopes labeled C-R-A-W-L.

Whizzard says, "Pick one."

Darkstar asks, "One each?"

Whizzard says, "No, greedyfingers. Just one."

Zero asks, "So which?"

Darkstar asks (of Team), "What do you say? What's your favorite letter?"

GuntherStein says, "Go ahead, team captain."

Zero says, "I vote R."

Whizzard says, "DJ G hums the Jeopardy theme."

Darkstar says, "R it is, Zero."

Darkstar grabs envelope R.

GuntherStein says, "I like an ARRRR"

Darkstar gives it a flip-over, checking for anthrax. Or other nasty surprises.

Whizzard says, "Ok. You've won a 200 GP treasury note, you lucky stiffs."

Whizzard exclaims, "Now, on to the next room. The clock's ticking!"

GuntherStein looks at the dead creatures.

Darkstar hands it over to Zero for keeping, since he picked the letter, and heads to the next room.

Zero tucks the note away.

Zero asks (of GuntherStein), "Yeah, what were they, anyhow?"

Sakai sheathes his camera and looks disappointed.

Sakai sheathes his katana, even.

Whizzard says, "Just some standard issue hobgoblins, it looks like. With some warpaint on, even."

Whizzard says, "So far, so good."

Whizzard says, "A door leads out of the chamber to the west."

GuntherStein follows LDS.

Zero follows MBK who follows GS.

Whizzard says, "Ok. A corridor leads to the north and west. Down the west corridor, there is a door on the south wall, while the corridor continues off. Down the north corridor, the passage ends in a gothic stone door."

Darkstar checks the big door for traps.

Darkstar rolls 1 20-sided die: 12 | 12 + 20 = 32

GuntherStein makes a shush motion, points to DS and points to his ear.

[whiz-games] GuntherStein says, "Erm, or not."

Sakai walks behind, scanning the rear.

Whizzard says, "Oh yeah, this one's got a doozy on it."

Darkstar says, "Mmm. Trapped."

Whizzard asks, "Want to disable it?"

[whiz-games] Darkstar asks, "Does the search roll give me any idea of the disable DC?"

[Crows-Nest] Whizzard says, "Nope."

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "Nope."

[whiz-games] Darkstar says, "OK, I'll give it a shot."

GuntherStein says, "Go, Lord Darkstar, you can do it! (MOJO)"

Whizzard asks, "How much Mojo?"

Darkstar says, "Step back," while taking some tools out of his pouch. "I just got these a few months ago, and I'm not sure I have the hang of them yet.""

GuntherStein asks, "MixBlaster, can you lay down some dope b&e beats?"

Whizzard says, "The team has a total of 10 points."

Zero makes sure he knows where the Band-Aids are.

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK asks, "would that help?"

GuntherStein also steps back.

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "Not mechanically, but it's cool."

GuntherStein says, "Oh, erm, I'll give 1 point. Others can give more, I guess."

Whizzard says, "Ok, Darkstar gets a +1 bonus. Roll it."

[whiz-games] Darkstar says, "My rank+bonus is +4, if that affects your decisions."

Darkstar rolls 1 20-sided die: 3 | 3 + 5 = 8

[whiz-games] Sakai asks, "I don't get the mojo stuff. It's a team pool, by we spend it individually?"

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "You spend it for each other."

[whiz-games] GuntherStein says, "Yay go DS you can do it... oh, nevermind."

Whizzard says, "Ok, there's a click and electricity surges through your body."

Whizzard rolls 1 8-sided die: 5 | 5 + 3 = 8

Darkstar says, "Yerghergherghzhzhzh..."

Whizzard says, "You take 8 points of damage."

[whiz-games] Sakai exclaims, "Right, but what's the use in saying, "I'll spend one point, others can spend more?" They're all the same points!"

(From Whizzard) DJ G says, "Shocking, isn't it?"

Darkstar eyes focus and unfocus for a moment. "OK... I think it's clear now..."

[whiz-games] GuntherStein says, "Well, I mean... I kinda feel bad spending a bunch of the team's points unilaterally. If other people would also like to encourage him, then, you know, go ahead."

Whizzard asks, "Ok. Who's opening it?"

[whiz-games] Darkstar asks, "Should I check for any additional traps?"

[whiz-games] Darkstar asks, "Or would the first roll cover that?"

GuntherStein says, "I'll shove the door open, pushing on the stone part not the metal part."

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "Well, you don't think you actually disarmed it."

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "Fortunately, Gunther is strong."

Whizzard says, "Ok, Gunther shoves the door open, to a faint pop and the smell of ozone."

GuntherStein looks within.

(From Whizzard) A magnificent tiled mosaic dominates the east wall of this room. The mosaic depicts Neptune commanding the creatures of the sea. The floor of this room gives way to a large pool of clear water. The pool goes all the way to the far wall, and looking underwater you see a dark passageway leading to another room. The water is shallow at the edge of the pool, but gets extremely deep at the wall.

Darkstar treads carefully entering the room, still wary from the trap.

GuntherStein says, "I don't like the looks of this. I think we should try the other direction."

Darkstar says, "I wonder what the mosaic means."

(From Whizzard) The sounds of a chicken clucking comes from the speakers.

[whiz-games] Sakai asks, "There was another way?"

Darkstar sniffs the 'water'.

[whiz-games] Darkstar says, "Yeah."

Whizzard says, "It is, in fact, water. Cool, clear water."

Sakai says, "Not in this armour. Try the other way."

Darkstar says, "At least it's not likely to go up in flames if we get shot by kobolds."

(From Whizzard) The sounds of fire and screaming adventurers come over the speakers.

Darkstar checks the room and mosaic for hidden switches and buttons and things, before turning back.

Darkstar rolls 1 20-sided die: 15 | 15 + 20 = 35

Sakai . o O ( I can't get this pouch wet! It has that reporter's number in it! )

Whizzard says, "Nope. The only way forward is through the water."

Darkstar says, "OK, we can come back here after we've checked the rest of the corridor."

Zero shrugs. "Okay."

(From Whizzard) The speakers pick up the crowd chanting, "TPK! TPK!"

Darkstar goes back to the corridor, and the other door.

GuntherStein follows DS out and back.

(From Whizzard) The crowd's laughter follows you out of the room.

[whiz-games] Sakai says, "How long does it take to doff armour? (Yes, I'm decent underneath.)"

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "A few rounds."

[Crows-Nest] (from Darkstar) Sakai says, "If you know what I mean."

Darkstar checks that door.

Darkstar rolls 1 20-sided die: 9 | 9 + 20 = 29

[Crows-Nest] GuntherStein says, "I'm so ASHAMED. But then again, I'm still alive, so nyah."

Whizzard says, "Ok, the door in the western corridor is untrapped."

Darkstar opens the door.

[Crows-Nest] Sakai exclaims, "We're not afraid! It's just inconvenient!"

Whizzard says, "Inside is a breakroom, with a paramedic standing by."

[Crows-Nest] Darkstar says, "Everyone knows you're supposed to save the sensual strippeg scene to two-thirds of the way through the program."

Darkstar smirks.

[whiz-games] Sakai asks, "Is there another exit?"

[Crows-Nest] GuntherStein says (to paramedic), "Be right back."

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "Nope."

GuntherStein says, "Looks like we're getting wet, boys."

Darkstar says, "Let's not waste time here."

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "Though the corridor continues west."

Darkstar goes for the corridor.

[whiz-games] Sakai says, "Oh, ok."

GuntherStein exclaims, "Ya!"

Sakai bows sharply to the paramedic before continuing.

Whizzard says, "It goes a bit further west, and ends in another stone door."

Darkstar checks *this* door, too.

Darkstar rolls 1 20-sided die: 16 | 16 + 20 = 36

Darkstar says, "If nothing else, I'm getting lots of experience at... looking at doors."

Whizzard says, "No trap, but you find a red card key slot in a gargoyle's mouth."

[whiz-games] Darkstar asks, "Can you pick card key slots?"

(From Whizzard) The speakers blare at you, "HaHAHahAHAhaH....Wipeout!"

[whiz-games] Sakai asks, "Is that a dispenser or accepter of card keys?"

[whiz-games] GuntherStein asks, "Erm, what?"

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "No. Only a card key will get it open."

[whiz-games] GuntherStein asks, "Like, there's a gargoyle head carved into the door, or a statue, or what?"

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "Carved into the door."

Sakai mutters, "Waste of time," and pivots on his heel.

Darkstar asks (of Gargoyle), "If I give you a password, will you open up?"

(From Whizzard) The speakers say, "Maybe. What's the password?"

GuntherStein asks (of Darkstar), "Feeling lucky?"

[whiz-games] Darkstar asks, "Can I Use Magic Device here?"

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "Sure."

Darkstar rolls 1 20-sided die: 1 | 1 + 8 = 9

[whiz-games] Darkstar says, "Gah."

GuntherStein digs in his backpack for his crowbar.

Darkstar asks, "Greenskin?"

Whizzard says, "Nope. You're ice cold."

Darkstar says, "Pfft."

Sakai exclaims, "Darkstar-san!"

Darkstar asks (of Sakai), "Yeah?"

Sakai says, "We need the red key to win in any case. We must go through the water."

Whizzard says, "Oooh, most honorable sensible-san."

Darkstar says (to Sakai), "Hey, if you don't mind stripping, s'cool with me."

Darkstar asks, "You got grease for that plate?"

GuntherStein shoves his crowbar into the mouth and tries to pry it open.

Darkstar makes sure his rapier's tightly sheathed and his packs are all zipped tight.

GuntherStein says (to Darkstar), "Get ready to grab it."

Whizzard says, "Make a Str check."

GuntherStein rolls 1 20-sided die: 14 | 14 + 4 = 18

GuntherStein grunts dramatically.

[whiz-games] Darkstar says, "(BTW, guys, if I'm taking the lead *too* much here, feel free to yell at me OOC, and I'll tone it down.)"

(From Whizzard) The speakers play a trombone noise, "WAnh WAH."

[whiz-games] Darkstar says, "(I don't want to take over or anything.)"

Whizzard says, "No dice."

Darkstar pats Gunther on the shoulder. "Good try, man."

[whiz-games] GuntherStein says, "I think you're doing fine. Online games always seem to suffer from leaderlessness."

GuntherStein says, "Alright, time for a swim, then."

Whizzard says, "Ok, you head back to the watery room."

GuntherStein points at the gargoyle. "I'LL BE BAAAACK."

GuntherStein hyperventilates for a while.

Sakai pulls an empty plastic sack from his backpack, and begins putting pouches in it.

Darkstar asks, "Hail, Neptune, you're the guy. Can you ditch this water, and make the place dry?"

Zero looks around for anything that might obviously conduct into the water.

Sakai says (to Darkstar), "Fearless leader, can you scout ahead? If the way is short, we may be able to swim it even in the heavy armour."

(From Whizzard) Speakers say, "Sorry, me hearties, ye'll just have ta get yer tootsies damp."

Darkstar says (to Darkstar), "Sure thing."

[Crows-Nest] Zero hands Darkstar some pom-poms.

GuntherStein says, "I'll go in first, to draw any attacks, if that's alright."

Darkstar takes a rope out first, and rezips his pouches. "Hey, take one end of this."

Whizzard says (to zero), "You don't notice any electrical cables, etc."

Darkstar ties the other to himself.

GuntherStein ties the rope around his waist.

Darkstar touches the water, as a safety check.

GuntherStein swims, well, walks into the water. Clank clank clank splash splash splash.

Whizzard says, "Ok."

Darkstar says, "OK, here goes nothing."

[Crows-Nest] Sakai says, "Er, ok. The guy in armour can wade through if he really wants."

Whizzard says, "The water quickly closes over your head. Swim check."

Darkstar dives for it.

Darkstar rolls 1 20-sided die: 17 | 17 + 4 = 21

GuntherStein rolls 1 20-sided die: 6 | 6 - 2 = 4

[whiz-games] GuntherStein says, "Ahhhh crud."

(From Whizzard) GuntherStein says, "Blub*

Darkstar tries to save Gunther.

Whizzard says, "Gunther, you sink to the bottom and find that you cannot move around effectively. Also, you start to drown."

Whizzard says, "Ok, a 2nd Swim check from Darkstar."

Darkstar rolls 1 20-sided die: 12 | 12 + 4 = 16

[whiz-games] Sakai says (to GuntherStein), "Sorry to break it to you, but you're below -2. I have +5 Swim, and I'm at -8."

Whizzard says, "Ok, you manage to haul him up out of the water. He gasps for air."

[whiz-games] GuntherStein says, "Oh wait, Swim is one of those one's that's at every 5 pounds, isn't it."

Darkstar says (to Gunther), "Good try, but... a bad idea."

[whiz-games] Sakai says, "Yep."

(From Whizzard) The speakers begin playing, "Tiny Bubbles" by Don Ho.

Sakai, meanwhile, is stripping his armour off.

Darkstar says, "Take some air. I'll be back in a bit."

Darkstar asks, "Anyone without heavy armor wanna come with?"

GuntherStein unties.

Whizzard says, "Ok. Swim checks on anyone going in."

Darkstar rolls 1 20-sided die: 11 | 11 + 4 = 15

GuntherStein zealously guards the pile of shed armour.

Whizzard says, "Ok, you swim over to the dark passage."

[whiz-games] Darkstar asks, "Who had the middle of the rope, BTW? Zero?"

[whiz-games] Alex says (to Darkstar), "Awwwk! Word on the street is that zero is 0, which is zero."

Sakai is now down to his undershirt. He hesitates a moment, then takes his helm and mask off and adds them to the pile.

Whizzard says, "There's no telling how far this underwater passage goes. It's nearly pitch black inside."

Darkstar feels his way along for about half his lung-capacity.

Whizzard says, "Ok, after about 3 feet it opens up into another chamber."

Whizzard says, "Lights snap on all around you."

[whiz-games] Darkstar asks, "Still underwater, or is there air above me?"

Whizzard says, "There's air above you."

GuntherStein peers into the murky depths.

Darkstar breaks the surface. "Here he is, Mister Aquaria..."

Whizzard says, "Ahead, two lizardmen wait underwater. Shackled to the bottom of the pool is Princess Vogue, mugging for the camera and looking afraid."

Whizzard says, "She doesn't seem to be drowning or anything though."

Whizzard says, "The two lizardmen swim forward to attack you. Initiative."

Whizzard asks, "Would anyone else like to swim through?"

GuntherStein will stay put for now.

[whiz-games] Zero says, "Can't find the swim roll rules."

Sakai frowns at the rope. "He is taking a long time. Should we follow?"

Whizzard says, "Above the pool on a giant AVS screen, DJ Greenskin hums the theme to a famous undersea thriller. "DAH-DUM, DAH-DUM...""

[whiz-games] Darkstar says, "(Lost connection.)"

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "Roll init."

[whiz-games] Sakai says, "Str skill, -1 for every 5 pounds of equipment."

Darkstar rolls 1 20-sided die: 5 | 5 + 2 = 7

GuntherStein says (to Sakai), "That's true; maybe we should."

Whizzard rolls 1 20-sided die: 4 | 4 + 2 = 6

Whizzard says, "You're first, Darkstar."

Whizzard says, "You have a -2 to hit in the water."

Darkstar makes a jeering face at the lizards, to mock them.

Sakai says, "He will pull on the rope if he wants us."

Darkstar dives, and swims back the way he came.

Whizzard says, "Ok. They will each get an attack of opportunity as you try to flee."

Whizzard asks, "What's your current AC?"

[whiz-games] Darkstar says, "I didn't realize that non-encumbering armor caused a hinrance, so let's assume I took it off (since I rolled without a penalty), so AC's 11."

[whiz-games] Whizzard asks, "Ok. Sure you want to flee?"

[whiz-games] Darkstar says, "Well, I wanted to lure them back to the others."

[whiz-games] Darkstar says, "But, mrm. If they get to attack me anyway..."

[whiz-games] GuntherStein says, "Retreating straight back normally doesn't draw an AoO, but it's your game."

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "It does in these circumstances."

[whiz-games] Darkstar says, "If they get AoO's, then I'll fight instead."

[whiz-games] Sakai says (to Gunther), "You can't retreat straight back when you're swimming, though. You have to turn around."

[whiz-games] Sakai says (to Darkstar), "(Psst.)"

Whizzard asks, "Ok. What are you doing, Darkstar?"

Darkstar draws his rapier, and tries to stab at the first one.

[whiz-games] GuntherStein says, "Fair enough."

[whiz-games] Darkstar asks (of Sakai), "Psst?"

GuntherStein watches the end of the rope get all jerky.

[whiz-games] Darkstar asks, "That's a -2, you said?"

Whizzard says, "Ok. Roll to hit. -2 penalty"

Darkstar rolls 1 20-sided die: 2 | 2 + 7 = 9

[whiz-games] GuntherStein says, "Also, where is everyone? I know Sakai and me are up here, and DS is down there."

[whiz-games] Alex says (to GuntherStein), "Awwwk! Word on the street is that everyone is laughing it up on #adam-sux again."

[whiz-games] Darkstar says, "(Do I get a move equivalent action after I attack?)"

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "No one else swam through with LDS, to the best of my knowledge."

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "Yes."

[whiz-games] Sakai says, "I was gonna say "pull the rope", but I guess the rapier fighting will do it."

Darkstar yanks on the rope several times, hard, in quick succession.

Sakai says, "I think that's our call."

Zero hurriedly doffs his jacket and chain shirt and pack.

[whiz-games] Sakai asks, "Is there an extra penalty for fighting with 2-handed weapons underwater?"

GuntherStein starts hauling on the rope.

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "Hmm. Not even sure you could, with a slashing weapon."

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "I think slashing is 1/2 damage and bludgeoning is nulled."

Sakai draws his wakizashi and a dagger and dives in.

[Crows-Nest] GuntherStein says, "Pulla pulla pulla"

Whizzard says, "Ok, LDS is whisked backwards by the rope."

Whizzard says, "The lizardmen pursue."

Whizzard says, "Initiative for everyone."

Zero stops doffing.

[whiz-games] Darkstar asks, "Do I reroll it?"

Sakai rolls 1 20-sided die: 18 | 18 + 2 = 20

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "Not you"

Zero rolls 1 20-sided die: 19 | 19

[Crows-Nest] GuntherStein says (to Darkstar), "Good job, Lord Bait, I mean, Darkstar"

GuntherStein rolls 1 20-sided die: 10 | 10

[Crows-Nest] Zero says, "No, no, it's "Good job, chum!""

[whiz-games] Sakai asks, "Er, what happened to josh?"

[whiz-games] Darkstar says, "Good question."

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "I think he got caught up in something else."

Whizzard says, "Ok. Sakai, first give me a Swim check."

Sakai rolls 1 20-sided die: 4 | 4 + 7 = 11

Whizzard says, "Ok, good enough. Now you may attack as the lizardmen approach."

Whizzard says, "-2 penalty."

[whiz-games] Darkstar says, "(Oh, and this probably isn't at all what Whizz was thinking about when he said 'an attractive half-orc', but... http://www.supermegatopia.com/gallery/tanlines.htm )"

Sakai twists through the water and slashes at a lizard with his short sword.

Sakai rolls 1 20-sided die: 5 | 5 + 6 = 11

Whizzard says, "Miss"

Whizzard asks, "Zero?"

Zero rolls 1 20-sided die: 5 | 5 + 5 = 10

[whiz-games] GuntherStein says (to Darkstar), "Eeeagh"

[whiz-games] Darkstar says, "There we go, that's what I was waiting for :)"

Whizzard asks, "Wait, what are you doing?"

Zero unjumps the gun.

[whiz-games] Zero says, "I'm not sure exactly where I am... was undressing, then people hauled back..."

Whizzard says, "You're on shore still."

[whiz-games] Sakai says, "Gunther's guarding the pile of armour, Darkstar just got hauled out, I've gone ahead to slow them down."

Zero says, "Guess I'll try and wade/swim out to where the action is, then."

Whizzard says, "Ok, Swim check"

Zero rolls 1 20-sided die: 1 | 1 - 2 = -1

[Crows-Nest] Zero says, "I trip and die before I even get to the water."

[Crows-Nest] Darkstar says, "We're not in good shape here..."

Whizzard says, "Ok, Zero doesn't really even make it into the water, tripping as he wades out."

Whizzard asks, "Next?"

GuntherStein just holds his breath and walks into the water, not bothering to swim.

Sakai is backpaddling, trying a delaying action to keep the lizards from just charging out.

Whizzard says, "Ok. You'll need to make a Con check for me."

[whiz-games] Sakai says, "If Gunther needs a Swim roll, I'll give him moxy."

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says, "sorry, extended phonecall with absent fiancee"

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says, "I swim and shoot"

[whiz-games] Sakai exclaims, "Yay! The cavalry has arrived!"

[whiz-games] Sakai says, "Don't forget to drop your turntables..."

[whiz-games] Darkstar says, "Woot."

[whiz-games] Sakai says, "(And I'll save that moxy for MBK. Wait, am I using the right word?)"

[whiz-games] Darkstar says, "Mojo."

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "mojo"

GuntherStein rolls 1 20-sided die: 17 | 17

GuntherStein says, "(That's the Con check)"

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says, "and I have a bonus to swimming"

Whizzard asks, "Ok. You're holding your breath ok. What are you attacking with?"

GuntherStein says, "Uhh, the greataxe, I guess. I'll swing it as best I can."

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says, "swim roll..."

GuntherStein says, "Otherwise I'll just start punching someone with my gauntlets."

Whizzard says, "Ok. 1/2 damage if you hit."

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "Init roll first"

MixBlasterK rolls 1 20-sided die: 7 | 7 + 2 = 9

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says, "oh sorry"

MixBlasterK rolls 1 20-sided die: 5 | 5 + 3 = 8

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says, "er, they both suck, pick which is which :P"

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "You'll go after Gunther"

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says, "k"

Whizzard says, "Roll to hit, Gunther"

GuntherStein rolls 1 20-sided die: 3 | 3 + 7 = 10

GuntherStein says, "(That was at -2. Ick)"

Whizzard asks, "You miss. MBK?"

(From GuntherStein) A bubble containing a swear word escapes Gunther's lips.

MixBlasterK dives into the water, crossbow at the ready.

MixBlasterK rolls 1 20-sided die: 9 | 9 + 2 = 11

Whizzard says, "Ok. Roll to hit."

MixBlasterK looks for a lizard baddie, and fires!

MixBlasterK rolls 1 20-sided die: 10 | 10 + 6 = 16

Whizzard says, "You hit,"

Whizzard says, "Roll damage"

MixBlasterK rolls 1 8-sided die: 4 | 4

Whizzard says, "Ok. It looks a bit hurt."

Whizzard asks, "The two lizardmen swim to either side of Sakai, flanking him, and attack. What's Sakai's AC?"

[whiz-games] Darkstar exclaims, "Yay, MBK!"

[whiz-games] Sakai says, "AC 12 at the moment."

[whiz-games] Sakai asks, "Can I use Dodge and Mobility underwater?"

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "Sure."

[whiz-games] Sakai says, "Ok, 12 against the first 13 against the second (dodge bonus)"

Whizzard says, "Ok, two attacks..."

Whizzard rolls 1 20-sided die: 8 | 8 + 5 = 13

[Crows-Nest] schep unidles to watch the fight on the audience screens.

Whizzard rolls 1 20-sided die: 16 | 16 + 5 = 21

Whizzard says, "Two hits"

[whiz-games] Sakai says, "Damn, should've put those in the other order."

Whizzard rolls 1 6-sided die: 2 | 2 + 2 = 4

Whizzard rolls 1 6-sided die: 4 | 4 + 2 = 6

Whizzard says, "For 10 damage. The water turns red with Sakai's blood."

Whizzard says, "Darkstar is next."

Darkstar swims over to Sakai, to attack one of his lizards.

Darkstar rolls 1 20-sided die: 12 | 12 + 7 = 19

Whizzard says, "Hit. Damage"

Darkstar rolls 2 6-sided dice: 4 3 | 7 + 5 = 12

[whiz-games] Darkstar says, "(Assuming flanking)"

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK is glad he hasn't been hit yet, because he still didn't figure out his hitpoints.

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says, "also, off the phone"

[whiz-games] MixBlasterK says, "and if I hadn't been idle, I would've jumped in this silly water an hour ago :P"

Whizzard says, "Ok. You tear through the injured lizardman's chest. It floats limply in the water."

Whizzard says, "Sakai"

[whiz-games] Darkstar asks, "Can I Cleave?"

[Crows-Nest] MixBlasterK notices that Sakai is one letter away from being saki

[whiz-games] Darkstar says, "(I *think* I have that feat...)"

[whiz-games] Darkstar says, "(Unless I only got three feats, in which case I just forgot to erase it from my sheet :) )"

Sakai abandons his wakizashi and instead swaps hands and goes corps-a-corps with his dagger.

Sakai rolls 1 20-sided die: 12 | 12 + 5 = 17

Whizzard says, "Hit"

Sakai rolls 1 4-sided die: 2 | 2 + 3 = 5

Whizzard says, "You wound the remaining lizardman."

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "Also, I think you can cleave, but no flank this time."

[whiz-games] Darkstar asks, "Do I go right now?"

[whiz-games] Whizzard says, "Yeah"

Darkstar rolls 1 20-sided die: 15 | 15 + 7 = 22

Whizzard says, "Hit"

Darkstar rolls 1 6-sided die: 2 | 2 + 5 = 7

Whizzard says, "Ok. It's gravely injured, but not yet dead."

Whizzard says, "Zero."

Zero says, "I toss my mace on the shore, draw a dagger, and swim out to attack the lizardman."

Whizzard says, "Roll a Swim check."

Zero rolls 1 20-sided die: 6 | 6 - 1 = 5

[whiz-games] Sakai asks, "Woah, dagger? Can you do that?"

[whiz-games] Sakai says, "Also, I said I was giving Moxy to the next guy who swims. Damn, too late now, I think."

Whizzard says, "Once again, the water is not your friend, and you fumble about but don't make progress."

[Crows-Nest] Zero looks down. "Who tied my bootlaces together?!"

Whizzard says, "Gunther. Need another Con check, at -1 this time."

GuntherStein rolls 1 20-sided die: 1 | 1 - 1 = 0

GuntherStein says, "Glub"

[whiz-games] Sakai says, "Moxy."

[whiz-games] Sakai exclaims, "Dammit, stop rolling so fast! I'm trying to help you here!"

[whiz-games] GuntherStein says, "Awww, sorry."