Agents Of Empire/Turns/19/News

The following news, rumors, gossip, and back-channel messages have arrived from the empire. Offers all first-come, first-served. Actual facts may differ slightly from those presented. Caveat emptor and all hail the emperor.

GEOGRAPHIC NEWS: Colony worlds now accessible again! No complete explanation has been publicized for the disappearance of the wormhole connecting the colony worlds to the heart of the empire, but whatever the reason, it's back again! Rejoicing is heard from fans of Astro-polo and Ugly Fish alike.

CELEBRITY NEWS: Oracle of Three Million Eyes dead! The popular advisor, philosopher, and talk-show guest has given his last cryptic fortune. In a prepared statement, his lead disciple stated "The Eyes have closed for their final time. Our search for a successor begins now -- until one is found, they remain shut."

POLITICAL NEWS: Gwyne invades Reeft! Reeft invades Gwyne! Our on-the-spot reporters can't get close enough to see what with all the explosions, but there is definitely some space combat going on around the Gwyne/Reeft border. Has Gwyne overexposed itself? Has Reeft struck too soon? Will the loser crumble, releasing lots of juicy sources of potential Influence to the empire at large? We'll soon find out!

SPORTS NEWS: Lead Topni scientists announce Astro-Polo is "as solved as connect-4". They intend to begin production on a team of robotic astro-polo players immediately, with the intention of proving the superiority of logically flawless robots on the field of astro-polo.

CELEBRITY POLITICAL SPORTS NEWS: Seve Ballesteros has declared his intention to seek the imperial throne! As the first contender to announce, he has grabbed the immediate spotlight, a position he is only too familiar with from his astro-polo days. But the public is fickle, and Seve will need plenty of future stunts to keep their attention.

LATE-BREAKING POLITICAL NEWS: Three more candidates have announced in the wake of Seve's announcement: Holgrem Dansk from House Kresht ("Strength through strength."), Itillia Vanyis from House Wednox ("Truth and Consequences."), and New Lower Prices from House Krazybuys ("New! Lower Prices!"). More announcements are expected -- the floodgates seem to have opened and who knows what'll happen. The Emperor himself has been totally silent on the issue, making only rare public appearances and answering no questions.